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Friday, 16 March 2012

Work for Week 9

Describe someone doing some practical task such as chopping wood, swimming,  pumping up a bicycle tyre.    Try to make the rhythm of the language and the sounds of the words match the activity.    If it's as fluent elegant activity, make the sentences long, fluent and elegant.  If it's a staccato repetitive activity, make the sentence short and repetitive in rhythm and wording.   Thinking about the smell, touch and sound of it.  You might want to use alliteration and/or comparisons, or just generally make the sounds of the words fit the sound of the activity.   Consider the difference between

                   A hot snog

                   Breathless kisses

The sounds of the words give a different 'feel' to the two,  quite apart from the different meanings of the words.  

Consider the difference between

As he pushed off from the side of the pool and the warm green swirled over her shoulders, pulling out her hair  wet and heavy behind her,  all that anger was lost in the smell of chlorine and the clicks and rocking of the water.


Thud, thud, came the fist on the door.  She crouched still, hand over mouth, shaking.  Then again, thud, thud.  Then again.  Then again

1 comment:

  1. You managed a quick sex change in that example, John...he pushed off, but she got the water swirling over her shoulders!The medical profession would save millions if they could manage the same thing just a fast. Hehehe!
    Now I'll go way and concentrate on my homework...